Jot down the type of manipulative tactics this child typically uses. For example, write down whether he lies a lot, blames others, makes excuses, uses charm, affection, or hysterics, makes threats or uses physical violence.
Ask yourself what the real reasons for this behavior might be and write them down. This step might be harder if the child is not your own, but write down any idea you think is valid. For example, a child might be trying to avoid a situation he finds embarrassing or anxiety-producing or the child might be lazy or selfish.
Enforce direct language. According to the website Adoption.com, you should "Reword your children's manipulative statements using more direct language." For example, if a child says a different daycare teacher gives her kids cookies everyday and that she's so wonderful, push the kid to be more direct. You could ask something like "What are you trying to say?" or "You want me to give you cookies?" Let kids in your daycare know that it's okay to ask for things directly and the worst that could happen is you'll say "no."
Establish your authority. Sometimes a child will engage in manipulative behavior that undermines your authority. For example, might say, "My mom says it's okay if I break my crayons" or "My dad says I only have to take a nap if I'm tired." Explain simply and forcefully that you're in charge now and the child will follow your directions. According to Adoption.com, "Children can easily adapt to different parenting styles and philosophies."
Tell the child that you are attuned to her tactics of deception. For example, you could say to the child, "You throw a tantrum every time I tell you cannot take the classroom toys home. Throwing a tantrum will not get you what you want." Or you could say, "Every time I ask you to share your ideas with the other kids, you say you have to go to the bathroom. Is there something about sharing your thoughts that makes you uncomfortable?"
Help kids face their fears and anxieties so they can achieve self-empowerment. For example, tell the child inspiring words like "you can do it!" or "I can help you anytime." Rehearse relaxation skills with child so she understands that she can stay calm, not throw tantrums, or talk to a group of other children.
Set immediate consequences when you observe manipulative behavior. For example, explain to the child that if he lies to someone, he must admit to the lie and apologize for the dishonesty. Explain that if he gets out of a chore or activity by telling lies, then he must do that activity immediately.
Communicate to the entire group of daycare children that teachers will not allow shirking of responsibility, blaming others, lying, tantrums, breaking things or other manipulative behavior. The website Familyeducation.com suggests making a chart, checklist or schedule so everyone is clear on their responsibilities. This will discourage kids (and parents) from using manipulative tactics, such as making excuses or blaming others, if they "forgot" to complete their jobs. If you make this chart for daycare children, read the children's responsibilities out loud daily.
Create a contract that asks the kids to promise not to use manipulative tactics. Familyeducation.com recommends writing agreements that spell out behavior infractions and thier consquenses. All the children and teachers should sign it. For very young children, write a simple contract and read it to them.