Removing the hitting child from his situation is essential, since it can prevent him from doing any more hitting. Immediate intervention also teaches him that hitting will not be tolerated. Move him away from others by taking him into a quiet corner or hallway. Acknowledge the child’s feelings by saying something like “I can see that you are angry,” but explain that hitting is never acceptable. This is an opportunity to talk to the child about what’s upsetting him and come up with a plan for how he’ll deal with his anger or frustration the next time.
During a time when preschoolers are calm, talk about ways to deal with frustration, anger and sadness in healthy ways. Talk with preschoolers about what things make them feel upset and offer suggestions about things to do when they feel this way. For instance, talk about how to use your words rather than your hands to settle an argument. You may also invite children to come to you when they feel angry. You can either help a child solve his argument or take him out into the hallway so he can punch a pillow or jump up and down. These actions can help him work out his aggressive energy in a safe way.
Being exposed to instances of violence in the media can make children more aggressive. Even cartoon characters in their favorite shows may hit each other for comedic effect. If it’s your preschooler who’s hitting, cut back on the amount and type of television he’s allowed to watch. Go through all your preschoolers’ books and get rid of any in which characters are aggressive or insulting to one another, and make a rule against playing with toy guns or pretending to use guns. Reducing his access to violent media won’t only benefit him now; according to the American Psychological Association, children who watch violent programming are more likely to become violent adults.
If you’re dealing with a preschooler who hits frequently or shows other aggressive behaviors, such as biting and kicking, there may be a deeper issue at play. If you’re a concerned preschool teacher, talk to your school administrators about how to proceed. A meeting with the child’s parents may be in order to discuss any emotional issues that the child is dealing with at home. If you spot any signs of abuse, such as bruises or signs of neglect, call the state’s child welfare agency. If it’s your child who is hitting, talk to your pediatrician. She may recommend a visit to a child psychologist.