Make an agenda. Organize yourself before you even ask for a parent-teacher conference. Decide what you'd like to cover, since the teacher's time may be short. If you're confused about something in the classroom, pin down your specific questions. Decide what you need to talk about now and what can wait for another time. And don’t just list class problems; be sure to note what is going well for your child.
Set a time. This step may seem basic, but you'll earn bonus points if you approach scheduling process in a considerate way. Instead of making your conference request in person, send a note or an email letting the teacher know you'd like to meet. Ask him to give you some times that work in his schedule. Sending a note rather than asking in person gives the teacher time to think. That way, he doesn't feel pressured to squeeze you into a short time slot between lessons. Without the pressure of a face-to-face request, the teacher can plan his limited time so that you get more of it.
Arrive on time and be prepared. Teachers are busy. While they appreciate parent involvement, they don't have time for people who can't be bothered to get out of bed on time. Be ready with your list of concerns. Include a list of things you like about the classroom and the teaching strategies. Take a pen, some paper, and your calendar. Also take any homework samples that show your child’s problems. Have in mind some suggestions about how to solve classroom problems, or things you can do to help.
Check your attitude at the door. You wouldn't go into your boss's office with a list of complaints and demands. Handle your school meetings similarly. First, thank the teacher for meeting with you, and compliment something about her work. Then, tell the teacher in a calm, neutral voice what you think the problems are. Remember that school problems involve two people: the teacher AND the child. Be ready to tell the teacher what things your child might be able to change as well.
Suggest solutions and make a plan. After considering the teacher's recommendations, ask how you can help make those things happen. Ask how each of you will monitor your child's learning. Don't forget to plan future parent-teacher conferences, and agree upon a communication plan. Toward the end of the meeting, remind the teacher what you think is going well in the classroom. Finally, promise to work with the teacher as a team--and mean it!