Investigate the details of the offensive behavior from applicable school officials. Ask questions regarding the frequency and intensity of adverse episodes, along with any analysis about the reasons behind the behaviors. Stay objective during your conversations, as failing to do so could lead to overlooking negative behavior, which can contribute to worsening conduct. Forming an effective alliance with authority figures can alert you to problems, while demonstrating your seriousness about correcting behavioral issues.
Seek an explanation from your child. Let your child know that you are aware of behavioral issues at school. Express that you have details about the offenses upfront to eliminate evasiveness or dishonesty. Ask your child to explain the details of each event, including his state of mind during every episode. Inquire about any problems he may be encountering at school, while considering your family situation. Engaging in active dialogue with your child can give you a better understanding of his motivations.
Relay your expectations to your child. Express that while you know that exhibiting acceptable behavior can be difficult in some situations, you know that your child is capable of making better social decisions. Explain that while you don't expect perfection, you do expect your child to think before she acts. Outline specific rules for behavior, along with age-appropriate examples to make your point resonate. Giving your child suitable options when faced with adversity can help her avoid inappropriate social outbursts.
Implement suitable corrective action. This shows you're serious about your child upholding acceptable social standards. Make your punishment fit the nature of the offense to avoid over or underreacting. For example, a simple verbal warning may suffice for a one-time disruption, while restricting household privileges or after-school activities may be more appropriate for serious offenses. Ensure that your child is aware of the specific reasons why she's being punished, instead of instituting a less effective "blanket" punishment.