Conduct specific lessons on courtesy by modeling the correct behavior for your child and segment the lesson into simple steps. For example, demonstrate to your child how to meet and greet a new adult or return a greeting by an adult by showing her what to say and what to do. Say, "Nice to meet you," and have her repeat that greeting as the first step. Hold out your hand for a handshake and ask your child to copy you. Practice these lessons with your child with pretend role-play situations.
Provide instruction on saying "please" and "thank you" when your child is still a toddler. Have your child use sign language to express a courteous attitude if she is not yet able to talk. If your child asks you for something and does not say "please," don't acknowledge her request until she does. Don't complete the act of fulfilling her request until she says "thank you." Model courteous behavior in front of children at all times, using "please" and "thank you" frequently.
Teach your child to look people in the eye during conversations. Explain that letting your attention and focus wander while talking can be seen as rude. Model the difference between a polite conversation and one that is not. Always look your child in the eye when delivering praise or criticism.
Have your child participate in writing thank you notes. Use personalized note cards and emphasize that writing thank you notes should be practiced until it's a habit. Encourage your child to write thank you notes for gifts, party invitations and other events that require a thank you.
Practice telephone manners with a toy phone or an unplugged telephone. Rehearse what should be said in a telephone greeting. Point out the need to speak clearly into the phone so the caller can hear your child. Explain that the caller can't see when your child nods her head so she must respond to yes or no questions with verbal answers. Have her tell the caller what she plans to do, such as going to find Mom, before she leaves the conversation. Instruct her on how to take messages if you're not home.