Knowing and understanding the causes of anger is a first step to mindfulness. Becoming aware of anger "triggers" is an important first step in taking responsibility, or owning, anger. The Buddhists believe that because anger is created by our own minds, only we can make ourselves. Mindfulness provides an opportunity to look deeply at our anger and into ourselves. Why are we angry? What are we afraid of? What part of ourselves is under threat? It usually boils down to fear and ego. Because fear and anger are based in thought only, Buddhists don't consider them real, and this is the point at which we must take responsibility for anger.
People like to blame when they are angry, and this is a lethal hook. Buddhists teach that there is never anyone to blame for anger; that it is never justified and the only way to eradicate it is to cultivate "metta" -- love and kindness toward all sentient beings. When blame is not present, Buddhists take great care to not hurt others and to hold onto our own anger responsibly in doing so. Even if we've been cheated, lied to and betrayed in some way, it serves no purpose to blame; taking responsibility for all emotions related to anger facilitates its flow away from us, and brings a quicker recovery than if we were to blame others.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk who writes about Buddhist practices, anger and meditation, suggests that we picture the objects of our anger, or those with whom we'd like to blame, and remember that in another life everyone was at some point our mother. The rationale involves reincarnation, and the idea that while the world has been around for billions of years, as reincarnates we have been, too. Within this timeframe, we've had the opportunity to cross paths with literally every person on the planet, and in doing so everyone has been our mother at least once. Picturing every person in our path as our loving mother in another life is a strategy to help eliminate blame, and to recover from angry emotions.
Upon realizing the roots or causes of anger, and then examining them to evaluate what it was about the roots that made you angry. Was it fear? Intimidation? Threat? The important step is to decide what to do next. Pema Chodron promotes the idea of patience, or waiting to act upon anger before reacting to it as part of the letting-go process. This type of patience can be achieved through regular meditation practice. First acknowledging anger and its root causes, then embracing it with compassion and reflecting through meditation can help us let go of angry emotions.
Rather than feeding our anger by punching pillows, yelling, and pounding walls, Buddhists suggest that it is better to "starve" anger by doing the opposite: remaining calm, silent and still with our emotions. Thich Nhat Hanh, as he teaches mindfulness meditation, disagrees with the ideas promoted by modern psychology in letting out anger. He says that when we express anger verbally or with physical violence, we are planting more seeds of anger, or "feeding it" and making it stronger. Awareness, compassion and understanding can eradicate anger.