When regaining control of an unruly class, discussing a child's unwanted behavior or just talking to students, an effective approach involves using words and phrases that won't put them on the defensive, but promotes cooperation and respect. Reprimanding, lecturing, nagging, blaming and berating language actually degrades authority rather than enhancing it and lays the foundation for adversarial relationships with students. Turn "stop doing that," into "I don't expect to see that kind of thing now that we're in school." Replace "you're being rude; what's wrong with you?" with "I feel bad when my students speak to me that way." Turn second person, accusatory, "you" statements into first person, cooperative, "I," "we," "all of us," and "our" messages.
Build relationships with students by showing sincere concern for their welfare, interests and feelings. Discuss behavioral expectations before an activity. Ask individual students for their input during a lesson, keeping conversations animated with proactive cooperation while using an expressive and receptive tone of voice. Singling out each student by acknowledging their individual strengths openly and often builds self-confidence and promotes a positive learning environment.
Personal recognition builds inner motivation while extrinsic rewards can actually erode it. If the same two or three children are always winning the awards or getting the prizes, the other students can get discouraged and stop trying to excel. When using the "catching them doing good" technique, it is important to keep in mind there is an important difference between recognition and approval. If a student views his teacher as a judge who likes him today, but might not like him tomorrow, he will often act out to preserve his dignity or become an "approval junkie" in an effort to replenish his self-esteem. The distinction between "being good" and "doing good" is an important one. Give recognition by reflecting out loud on the child's action or accomplishment, not his character or his "goodness."
This is a useful technique to manage a classroom during transitions into new activities and environments. The teacher announces to the class that they will be learning a new game that they will play whenever something important is about to happen. The teacher will stand in front of the class and demonstrate a rhythmic beat by performing a pattern of claps and snaps, such as clap-clap-snap, clap-clap-snap. Students are to join in, mimicking the beat pattern and tempo. For extra reinforcement, the teacher can declare a challenge such as, "I bet you can't get this one!" Some children will immediately take up the challenge and others will quickly follow. It is important to visually acknowledge each child with eye contact, a nod and a smile, when they join in. When all students are engaged, the teacher signals the end of the game.