Strong-willed children often go after what they want, which can create power struggles with parents and teachers. Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, says to avoid power struggles by using routines. Stick to a predictable schedule in the classroom and enforce the schedule even if strong-willed kids don't like it at first. For instance, the schedule might include story time or crafting on certain days, but some kids may not want to participate. Let them know that the schedule doesn't change unless you (the teacher) change it. Continue teaching the other kids, and follow the schedule even if one or more strong-willed kids protest. The kids may sit out a few times, but in time they should realize that they are not the boss and soon they will begin to participate, and some kids may even ask to help prepare for crafts or other activities ahead of time.
Talk to strong-willed kids calmly and let them know you understand their concerns. Explain why you do certain tasks throughout the day, and ask them to think about why they are upset. Listen to her concerns and tell her you understand, but you must continue teaching. Tell her you would appreciate her cooperation, and maintain a calm tone while you talk. Some kids may just feel upset because they want to do something else. Explain the benefits of the lesson and ask them if they want to help in any way. This can make them feel important, and some kids may realize that the lesson isn't so bad. In time they may look forward to specific lessons and become your best helper.
Dr. Sylvia Rimm, director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, says strong-willed children need limits. Make rules for all the children in your classroom and enforce the same rules for all children. Don't give in to the strong-willed child because you're tired. All kids, especially strong-willed children, push boundaries to see how far they can get. Giving in can create a cycle of events that creates frustration when trying to teach a strong-willed child. Explain the class rules to all the children, and let them know what the consequences are so they have ample warning. Consequences at school can include time out, detention or losing other privileges.
You can still maintain order in the classroom while also respecting the children and building a good student-teacher relationship. Always follow through with the consequences when both strong-willed children along with other students act up. These rules are the same for all the kids in the classroom because strong-willed kids might feel like they have been singled out if you are purposely harder on them than other kids. You'll find that teaching strong-willed kids does take more work in the beginning, but maintain consistency and in time you might just see some major improvements in their behavior.
Ask parents or other educators for help if all of your attempts to help a strong-willed child have failed. Some kids just need more time or perhaps another person to explain things. One parent could come in for a day to help her feel more comfortable and accepting of a classroom environment. Some strong-willed kids with other impairments may take too much attention away from the teacher, and these kids may need to take special classes or benefit from counseling.