Helping relationships tend to be hierarchical in nature, yet some helping professionals have challenged the necessity of hierarchy. Dr. Irvin Yalom, professor emeritus of psychiatry at Stanford University, has suggested that therapists ought to express "authentic unconditional regard, nonjudgmental acceptance and empathic understanding." According to Dr. Yalom, therapists can deliver effective treatment only to those who actively participate in a dynamic, mutual process. Inquiry-based teaching paradigms make similar claims regarding the teacher-student relationship: through sustained mutual dialogue and reflection, both teacher and student gain new insights.
Recipients in helping relationships often idealize their helpers. In the case of counselors and therapists, recipients may come to feel that their helpers have superhuman powers to "fix" them. Patients frequently report rapid improvement within a few short sessions on such difficult issues as compulsive eating, abusive behavior or depression. Most professionals attribute this "improvement" more to an idealization of the therapist than to any lasting change. Similarly, students sometimes idealize teachers and professors as all-knowing beings whose base of understanding extends beyond their own capacities. These beliefs can be self-limiting and distorting.
Recipients of helping relationships often develop amorous feelings toward their helpers. Having benefited from the professional's skills and expertise, the recipient sometimes conflates gratitude and idealization with love. Establishing a romantic relationship would impinge upon and likely destroy the professional's ability to continue his work. It would be difficult for a recipient to objectively receive the advice, counsel and criticism of a teacher, therapist or social worker if the two were romantically involved. For this reason, the ethical code of conduct of most helping professionals strictly forbids helper-recipient romantic liaisons.
One objective of every helper-recipient relationship is to empower the recipient to operate independently of the helper. Teachers want their students to learn for themselves. Doctors want patients to be discharged from their care. Counselors and therapists want clients to address their social, mental and psychological limitations so as to improve their quality of life. However, it can be difficult for the recipient to acknowledge this objective because the helping relationship is comfortable and positive. It's easier to continue weekly therapy sessions working on your fear of small spaces than it is to have that breakthrough and actually walk into the elevator. For this reason, helpers must constantly look for that critical moment where the recipient is ready to make the jump alone, even if the recipient doesn't quite know it yet.