Here's a breakdown of Lily's internal conflict:
* The Mystery of Her Mother's Past: Lily wants to understand why her mother left her with her aunt, why she didn't come back for years, and what her life was like during those years. She feels a profound lack of knowledge about her mother's history and identity.
* The Absence of Explanation: Lily longs for her mother to acknowledge her and explain her actions, but she doesn't get that. The silence from her mother only fuels Lily's sense of abandonment and confusion.
* The Feeling of Rejection: Lily's mother's silence makes her feel like she was rejected, that her mother didn't love her enough to stay. This feeling of worthlessness and inadequacy is a significant burden for Lily.
The questions that torment Lily aren't just about the mechanics of her mother's life with the bees. They are about the emotional core of her relationship with her mother and the deep-seated need for love, understanding, and acceptance.