Preschoolers are still self-centered human beings. In their minds, the world revolves around them and no one else. Therefore, sharing with another person their size is just not feasible. Preschool teachers monitor the frequent tantrums they face when one child refuses to let the other play with the classroom kitchen set because she believes, "It's mine!" Learning to share is just the beginning of learning to play appropriately with others, and a positive result can lead to a lifelong gift of empathy.
Walk into a preschool classroom on the first day of school and you are likely to hear crying and pleading, and that is not just from the parents. Children experience some separation anxiety when they have to leave the comfort of their home to enter the educational world. They are used to waking up at any time, taking naps when they want to, eating at various times and playing all day long. Following a rigid school schedule can be demanding and overwhelming. After the initial meet and greet from the teacher, a child may engage in tantrums or crying, lasting anywhere from a few minutes to hours. The time it takes to overcome the anxiety is up to the child's resilience and ability to cope with new situations. If he cannot surpass the challenge the anxiety can lead to further behavioral concerns in the classroom such as refusal to do work, and/or escape from the classroom to return home.
Some children enter preschool with the understanding that hitting is not acceptable. However, many other children have to be taught that important lesson. Teachers are placed in the role of parent and mentor during the school day as they not only provide the academic lessons but also nourish the basic social and emotional lessons that all children need to succeed in life. When a child comes from a disadvantaged background in which her parents or caregivers failed to provide adequate compliance and behavioral limits, she is likely to want to defy and control her surroundings. This need for control can lead to anger and aggressive acts when limits are set by an adult. If she is not taught ways to manage and control her anger, her behavior can only escalate to oppositional and conduct problems.
Believe it or not, preschoolers often drop out of school after only a few weeks or months of not meeting expectations. Sometimes a parent can expect too much from a child and assume he is ready to start school when in fact he is lacking in basic daily living skills that prevent him from learning. Toileting accidents can cause a child to be ridiculed or feel demeaned in front of his peers. Other times the teacher may not feel adequately trained to control his attention-seeking or task-avoidance behaviors and is unable to help him succeed. When social, behavioral and/or basic academic expectations are not being met, the parents of the child are typically asked to withdraw him from school until he can mature a little more. This can lead to learned helplessness on the part of the parent and could create a cyclical pattern of lowered expectations for the child.