Develop a reward system with your preschooler to reinforce good social behaviors. For a preschooler with special needs, this progress may be as big as sharing a toy with a classmate, or as small as saying, "thank you," when you or another classmate gives him something. When he behaves appropriately, give him a gold star, a piece of candy or a small prize.
Talk often with your preschooler about her social interactions and social relationships. Encouraging her to talk about the events of her day and how she interacted with her peers will deepen her understanding of her own social interactions from a personal standpoint. She will be able to learn how to exchange information and solve problems verbally while having an enjoyable conversation.
Talk consistently with your preschooler about social information, such as where to put food after use, how to act in a library or why you need to stop at a red light. Social deficiencies are most often caused by a lack of information, and reinforcing these simple social rules will help your preschooler learn about and understand social rules that he needs to know in order to function in society.
Work on one behavior or social skill that your preschooler has problems with at a time. For example, if your preschooler is hyperactive and tends to be aggressive with others, focus on one of those two behaviors at a time. Doing this will allow her to put more focus on solving a singular behavioral problem and is less likely to confuse her in the process.
Encourage your preschooler to vocalize or express his emotions in an appropriate way when he is in an emotionally intensive situation. If he is angry about having to clean his room, sit down with him and ask him to explain exactly why he is angry. Offer him understanding and encourage him to express himself in a non-violent, non-aggressive way.
Offer your preschooler choices when trying to get her to do something. Instead of telling her to simply pick up her toys, ask her whether she wants to pick up her dolls or her stuffed animals first. This provides her with a sense of independence that will foster her problem-solving and social skills.
Avoid trying to teach your preschooler important social skills during emotional or stressful times. If you can anticipate an event where social skills are needed, talk beforehand with your preschooler about how she is going to react. For example, if your preschooler is going on a field trip with her class, talk with her about the appropriate ways to act on a school bus and when she is out with her classmates.
Encourage your preschooler to share his trials and tribulations with you concerning his social skills and confrontations he encounters. Never scold him if he reports handling a situation badly. Instead, thank him for sharing with you and talk with him about the other ways in which he can handle similar situations in the future.