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Tips on School Refusal

Most children will dread going to school at some time during their school career. This may be due to various reasons, including a difficult exam scheduled for the next day or worrying about problems with classmates. Children who refuse to attend school might complain of medical symptoms to get out of class or to stay home, or they might throw tantrums to avoid getting ready for school. School refusal is often a symptom of a larger issue, such as a medical illness or an anxiety disorder. If you’ve noticed these behaviors in your son or daughter and you feel at a loss as to what you can do to keep your child in school, try these solutions.
  1. Talk to Your Child

    • One of the best ways to reduce school refusal is to figure out what is causing the behavior. Sit down and have a serious conversation with your child. Encourage him to talk to you about why he doesn’t want to go to school. Discuss the feelings your child brings up. Address his fears about school in a positive, helpful way. Describe school as a fun place to be, where he can spend time with friends and learn cool new things. For mild cases of school refusal, simply talking to your child and acknowledging his fears can help get rid of some of the behaviors that school refusal cause.

    Talk to School Professionals

    • Discuss this with professionals at your child’s school. Arrange a meeting with your daughter's teacher to let her know what is going on. If her teacher knows that your daughter is having issues with school refusal, the teacher may be able to influence her opinion of school in a more positive way. Meet with a guidance counselor as well. Describe the situation and ask for support and potential solutions to get your child attending school regularly.

    Try Self-Help Methods

    • Keep your child in school as much as possible. One component of school refusal is the reinforcement concept: A child will complain of headaches and stomachaches, which leads to staying home from school or coming home early. This enables the child to avoid negative aspects related to school and thus enjoy a day of free time, which only reinforces the negative behavior. For minor cases of school refusal, end the reinforcement cycle by not allowing your child to stay home without a measurable fever. At the same time, increase positive rewards for school attendance. For example, make a chart and list rewards for behaviors your child has problems with; reward good behavior with treats such as fun snacks and additional TV time. The key is to change your child’s mindset toward school.

    Get Professional Help

    • Seek professional help if your child’s school refusal behaviors are severe or have been present for more than a few days. Ask your pediatrician to refer your child to a mental health professional and take him in for an evaluation. You will be provided with a treatment plan with recommended strategies for reducing the incidence of school refusal. Remember, taking your child to a mental health professional is not a sign of weakness. Success in school requires regular attendance, so don’t hesitate to get your child the help he needs to succeed.

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