A grieving elementary student may feel confused and think that no one understands what she’s feeling. Talking to other children who have lost a loved one will make the child feels less alone. Search online for a local support group for children or contact local grief counselors who may lead these groups. The school counselor may also have a group of other grieving children she meets with during school hours. These groups give the child a chance to talk about what she’s feeling with children her own age.
A child may not be able or willing to verbalize what he’s feeling, but expressing himself through art may be easier. Give him large sheets of paper, markers and paint and ask him to paint whatever he feels like. Once he’s drawn angry zigzags or sad faces, ask him to draw specific things like what his life looked like before the sad thing happened and what his life looks like now. This is ideal if the child has become withdrawn, since he may be more willing to explain the picture to a caring adult rather than explaining his feelings.
A grieving child will often feel angry at the deceased person for leaving her. Giving her a chance to work out some of her anger will help her begin to move on. Give her a pillow to scream into or hit whenever she feels angry. She may also get comfort from stomping on all the things that make her angry. Ask her to write down all her feelings and stuff them in a box. Fill the box the rest of the way with crumpled newspaper and tape it shut. Head outside and let her jump up and down on the box or throw it around until she feels calm.
For a young child, talking about his grief is essential in order to move past it. A child who has stayed quiet, especially a boy, may be more willing to talk when he has something else to concentrate on. Kick a soccer ball back and forth or play catch with a foam ball and make small talk about his favorite foods or music. Once you’re in a comfortable rhythm, start talking about how sad it is when someone dies and how it makes you feel. He may start opening up about his feelings as long as you keep playing with the ball.