In marriage counseling, a pastor should not come across as a preacher but rather as a professional who is willing to listen and help. Couples seeking counseling need a listener, someone to understand their conflict, and a facilitator to the healing process. Counseling pastors should then provide an informal environment to enable the couple to open up without feeling judged and to offer them comfort.
Marriage enrichment programs include activities that build successful marriages. The program acts as a platform for fruitful marriage counseling, since it cultivates a relationship between the pastor and the couples. These activities include retreats, mentorship programs and seminars. The partners get to share, seek advice and gain insight from other couples with experience.
Assessment is an integral part of marital counseling. As a marriage counseling pastor, develop an assessment technique to establish the source of the conflict. It is important to listen and understand the underlying issues in order to offer effective counseling.
There are common problems facing marriages, but every marriage is unique and may have a unique angle to a common problem. Use questionnaires to assess the couple's core values, marriage vision and a personal definition of the conflict.
A successful intervention depends on a successful assessment. Once you have identified the conflict, use different avenues to address the conflict and empower the couple with conflict resolution skills. Supportive material includes discussion forums, videos that showcase communication and conflict resolution techniques, and homework. Ask the couple to video tape themselves while handling a conflict applying the techniques you have taught them.
Hope and forgiveness are unique to Christian marriage counseling. As a marriage counseling pastor, offer hope to the couple by quoting scriptures. The couple should have hope for their situation and have the patience to wait for God to heal their marriage. Forgiveness is also important for the healing process. Teach the couple forgiveness through Bible truths, such as confessing and genuinely asking for and offering forgiveness to each other.
Confidentiality is vital for any counseling to be successful. Marriage counseling pastors should not share the information they learn in a counseling session with other pastors or other senior officials in the church. When a couple trusts a marriage counselor, then they are truly free to seek help.