Tips on Living With a College Roommate

The transition to college doesn't always go smoothly. In a study of college freshmen, 32 percent reported feelings of loneliness after the first week of school, reported Jennifer Crocker and Amy Canevello from the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, in the September 2008 issue of the "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology." These challenges can make it more difficult to form strong relationships with a new roommate. The researchers concluded that maintaining your own emotional health is crucial to connect emotionally with a roommate.
  1. First Impressions

    • Your college may have paired you with a roommate based on some kind of survey or questionnaire, with a degree of precision that varies, depending on the institution. You should establish common ground with your roommate when the two of you meet, learn about his interests and probe for things you may have in common.

    Routines

    • Creating a firm routine with your roommate can make the changes feel less jarring, explains Susan Fee at Sideroad.com. Agreeing on a general bedtime during the school week based on your class schedules, for example, can minimize friction between the two of you. Establishing policies on outside guests, cleaning responsibilities and the sharing of personal belongings also facilitates peace. Some roommates write their expectations in the form of a contract rather than a simple verbal agreement.

    Adjustment

    • Many high school students imagine their first days of college to be a whirlwind of new friends and faces, but it usually takes longer before you, and your peers, feel truly comfortable. University of Michigan psychologist Jennifer Crocker told Jess Zielinski of "USA Today" that "the academic environment is usually more difficult and more competitive, and moving away from the nuclear family for the first time disrupts established social support networks."

    Friendship

    • Crocker also ranked establishing friendships as one of the top priorities for freshmen. When pursuing your own interests on campus, they won't always line up exactly with your roommate's interests, but you don't need to be best friends with your roommate if that connection does not come naturally.

    Communication

    • Even if you have little in common, you can maintain open channels of communication -- something the College Board website deems essential -- by making small talk about your day when you return from class. Speaking to your roommate promptly if he bothers you will prevent bitterness and resentment.

    Worst-Case Scenario

    • Sometimes problems arise despite your best efforts. If you aren't sure how to work through it, talk to your dormitory's residence assistant or the housing office at your school, and document the problems you've been having. If that doesn't work, most colleges have administrative procedures in place to reassign you or your roommate to a different room if you feel your health or safety is threatened.

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