Are you abusing your mother if she has late memoirs and wish to obtain these write a book but refuses give them have asked for several times?

No, asking repeatedly for access to your mother's late memoirs, even if you wish to publish them, does not constitute abuse. However, it could be considered disrespectful or inconsiderate, depending on the context and your mother's wishes. Her refusal to give you the memoirs is her right. Her personal papers are her property, and she has the autonomy to decide what happens to them. Persisting in demanding them after repeated refusals could damage your relationship.