To be an effective mentor, you must establish a line of communication and build a solid foundation of trust. One of the easiest ways to build trust is to be consistent and keep promises, even if the student does not. Let him know that you are there for him and what he tells you stays in confidence between the two of you. If it is necessary that another adult be involved, you discuss it with him before you speak to another adult. However, if the child is in danger, the mentor must break his confidentiality agreement in order to protect him. In some situations, the mentor may be the only stable adult in his life.
A mentor is not the student's substitute parent, guardian or an authority figure. Leading by example, a mentor should inspire his student to make good, solid decisions and allow his student to form his own opinion rather than preach personal values and morals. Criticizing his actions or shared opinions puts distance between the mentor and student, stifling the flow of communication. Focus on establishing a bond, a warm friendship. Successful mentors are those who can be a true friend while maintaining the role of a responsible adult.
A few encouraging words can lift the self-esteem of a young person. When helping a student with schoolwork or discussing grades, find a positive aspect to build on before tackling challenging issues or negative marks. Building his self-confidence is as important as assisting with fractions and ratios. Asking the student to explain his solution to an academic task is an example of how to build self-confidence because it allows the student to show off his knowledge of a particular subject. According to the Big Brothers Big Sisters website, 81 percent of students said that their mentors had a positive effect on their lives, encouraging them to do things they would not have thought possible.