Observing the situation is a necessary preparatory step to helping preschoolers get long with others. When a preschool teacher notices a child who is often left out or who purposefully isolates herself, he observes her behavior closely for several days. During this observation, the teacher takes notes, explaining when he sees the child sitting out, who the child seems to communicate with easily, who the child seems to have the hardest time with, what activities the child enjoys and what activities the child shies away from. These notes can be used to tailor activities to appeal to the child or take to a parent-teacher conference.
If a preschooler has a hard time getting along with others, this often reflects an issue in the home. Rather than call the parents in and accuse them of neglect, the teacher holds a conference during which she explains her observations. The teacher expresses her concern and works with the parents to think up solutions. When the teacher keeps the child's education the focus of the meeting, the parents are made aware of the issue and what they might be doing to perpetuate it, but do not feel cornered or accused.
Children with certain personality types simply have a harder time socializing. Often, a shy or reserved child needs more exposure to short bursts of free time or play time in the safety of the classroom. If the teacher notices a child being left out, she can encourage him to play with kids who enjoy similar things or she can play with him one-on-one for awhile to work his spirits up. The goal is to be sensitive to the child and stop the encouragement when it appears to be making matters worse.
If a teacher notices a child who won't explore games, toys and activities with others during free time, he can discuss the options with her to figure out what she likes. The teacher approaches this conversation treating the preschooler as an equal. He asks the preschooler specific, targeted questions, like "Do you like coloring, painting or blocks better?" If the child answers and appears to be open to conversation, the teacher can ask open-ended questions, such as "Why do you like blocks the best?" Once the teacher has enough information, he can make recommendations, such as "Did you know that playing with blocks is Anna's favorite activity, too? Should we go over to Anna and ask if she wants to play blocks?"