Play with same-age peers is crucial for preschoolers. Children at this age have the ability to form friendships based on likable qualities that they observe in other children. Those who form stable connections with other children their own age tend to experience fewer problems and develop more complex strategies for interaction, according to Jacquelyn Mize and Ellen Abell of the Southern Early Childhood Association.
Parents can encourage development of social skills by playing with their child in the same way that a child of the same age would. Preschoolers whose parents play with them as if they were peers, are more advanced and socially competent, say Mize and Abell. The secret however, is for the parents to allow the children to drive the play, restricting themselves to positive comments, questions or occasional suggestions. Parents should be uncritical and responsive.
Mize and Abell recommend talking through social situations with preschoolers. This can be as simple as a conversation about the events of the child's day, including things that happened between her and her peers. The website HealthyChildren.org points out that a child just beginning to develop skills at peer interaction might need to be reminded to "use her words," instead of reacting physically out of frustration. Parents should model peaceful solutions to problems. Talking with the child can help her see things from someone else's point of view.
Parents of preschoolers should try to let their children manage any conflicts that arise with their peers if possible, suggest Mize and Abell. Since so much of children's play is fantastic in preschoolers, they will often be too absorbed to disagree to the point where there is a problem. Since self-control is a learned skill however, parents may occasionally need to intervene, if things get out of hand. If this happens, an agitated child who responds to a problem physically should be restrained until she is calm, or moved away from others, if necessary. Parents should talk to the child about the situation and her feelings. Try to remind her of a time when someone reacted to her in such a way. Be understanding, but try to help her see how the other child is feeling. If an apology is in order, be sure the child understands the reason behind it.