Children tend to express positive feelings, such as happiness and excitement, in naturally exuberant ways. However, they don't always express negative feelings, such as anger or hurt, in appropriate ways. While you should validate your child's feelings, both positive and negative, you can teach your child the appropriate way to handle negative feelings. For example, you can discuss with your child the ways to handle anger or disappointment. You can role-play typical social situations so that they understand proper behavior whether it's in the home or in a public arena. You can also share your own feelings of rejection or anger when you confront a disturbing situation. Your child will look to you to model the correct response.
Introduce your child to the concept of empathy by teaching them how to listen and help others. Sit down with your child and ask him to tell you a story and that you will repeat the story back to him when he is done. In return, you have the chance to tell your story and he must repeat your story back to you. This exercise develops listening skills on two levels. Your child is not only listening to your story, but monitoring you to see how well you are listening to his story. The ability to listen to others is the basis for the ability to help others. Teach your child to be aware of others who might be in need of assistance, such as an elderly woman who requires help with her groceries, and also act upon a person's need. Tell your child that kind and helpful acts will make him feel good about himself.
Reinforce your child when she spontaneously shares a toy with another child. Beyond empathy is the ability to sacrifice something of yours for the enjoyment of others. Teach your child to share her time and belongings as long as her generosity isn't exploited. You can model this behavior by showing your child how you share things with your spouse, even the chores around the house.
Give your child tools to control his anger. Teach him how to count to 10 before reacting to a provocation in the schoolyard. Advise him to walk away from unnecessary conflict, particularly during those times when you or other adults are not on hand to supervise. Show him the difference in responses that escalate conflict versus those that diffuse conflict. Give him mental messages that he can use, such as "Dad told me not to hit back" or "Be the better person."