Control your own actions and responses around your teenager. As the role model in the situation, you must make sure that all of your own behaviors are appropriate before a teenager is willing to accept your discipline.
Communicate with your teenager. A parent or teacher can be understanding of a teen's problems or concerns without accepting inappropriate behavior. It is important to be able to talk about pressing issues. Improving communication can improve the relationship, and listening can give a parent or teacher a lot of insight as to why particular behaviors may be surfacing.
Work together when it comes to problem solving. Teenage defiance is often rooted in something unresolved. There is a lot of truth to the old saying "Let the punishment fit the crime." Parents and teachers need to make sure the punishment is appropriate when it comes to discipline. For example, if a teenager is rude to someone, require them to write an apology letter. Taking away television for a number of days or weeks would not be a fitting punishment for this situation, and would probably incite the teenager to showcase even more disrespectful behaviors. More can be learned from a simple yet appropriate punishment.
Tackle disciplinary issues at home, not in front of friends. Classroom teachers or coaches should pull the unruly teen aside and speak to him one on one. Teenagers will often react disrespectfully if they are admonished in front of their friends. Handling an issue privately will result in the best possible outcome.
Keep it positive. Remember that the way you handle your teenager now will her her how to handle issues in the future. Coming through a difficult situation with your teen will make her a better problem solver, and help her develop into a capable adult.