One of the simplest and most effective ways to deal with peers is to help your children find peer groups that will exert a positive influence on them. Religious organizations, Cub Scouts, sports teams and music groups are examples of places to find motivated, morally upstanding youngsters. These organizations provide a safe environment and encourage positive activity and discipline.
Concentrate on building a strong and open relationship with your child. The more they trust you, the more willing they are to talk about the things going on in their lives, the better chance you have of positively affecting their peer interactions. Spend time together as a family. Get to know their friends and involve them in family activities, too.
From the time they’re young, encourage your children’s sense of self-identity and self-esteem. Teach them to value their own worth based on objective measures, such as their intelligence, accomplishments and kind deeds, rather than the subjective measure of peer approval. Encourage them to maintain positive relationships with peers who are helpful and to disregard those who aren’t.
The best teaching tool is your own example. Show interest and tolerance toward people of other cultural and ethnic groups, and give your children as many chances as possible to mingle with those who are different from themselves. They will learn skills for relating to others that will last them throughout their lives.
Young children, especially, may have trouble dealing with their peers because they don’t know how to handle the feelings of anger they experience every time there’s a conflict. Teach your children to talk about their feelings, providing a non-judgmental atmosphere. Focus on appropriate responses to feelings of anger, such as walking away or talking about what’s bothering them. Model them in your own life, dealing with anger in non-aggressive fashion that they can see and from which they can learn.