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How to Explain Bullying

Bullying happens in every school and in every state. At some point it's very likely your child will either witness bullying, be a victim of bullying or will bully another child. Bullying is so common that some parents think bullying is just “kids being kids,” but it's a serious problem that causes a great deal of harm on multiple levels. Explaining the causes of bullying to children might help reduce the problem in schools.
  1. Define Who Bullies Are

    • Let kids know that bullies can be boys or girls. They can be any age, tall or short, skinny or overweight. PBS Kids educates children about bullies by explaining there is always something going on in a bully’s head -- someone is making the bully himself feel bad or insecure, so he bullies other kids to gain power. Explain to your child that bullies treat some kids badly because someone is treating them badly. A good way to illustrate this is to kids is the way dogs can become mean to people when people are mean to them. Kids should understand that bullying can be a vicious cycle.

    Explain What Bullying Is

    • Once your child understands why kids bully each other and are mean to one another, explain the different methods of bullying. Some kids may think a bully is only someone who hits other kids, but they should be aware of other forms of bullying -- whenever a kid tries to make another child feel bad by physically hurting someone, making him feel uncomfortable, name-calling or spreading rumors. Tell your child that bullies can use many methods to intimidate other kids and make them feel bad -- face to face, through notes, in emails, through text messaging or on Facebook.

    Explain How Bullies Make People Feel

    • Let your child know how bullying makes other kids feel so your child is prepared to walk away or prevent other kids from trying to intimidate them into bullying another student. KidsHealth.org explains that bullying causes people to feel many ways. Even one act of bullying can make a child feel constant fear. Some kids who are bullied get physically sick and have upset stomachs and even form digestive problems. Kids can feel so upset they can’t focus on schoolwork and they start getting bad grades. They can stop eating regularly, lose sleep and feel suicidal.

    Tell Your Child How Bullying Affects the Bully

    • Most people tend to only sympathize with the victims of bullying, but children need to know that the bully is also suffering. Forbes reported research findings that revealed bullies are also prone to depression and anxiety disorders. The study said they can have suicidal thoughts and panic disorders. In some cases these feelings stay with them into their adult years, making their lives very difficult to cope with. And kids who are both bullies and victims of bullying showed even greater signs for being at risk to developing these conditions. It's important for kids to know that bullies suffer too so they can identify bullying as a two-way cycle of suffering.

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