Focus on Friendship First: A strong friendship is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Do you enjoy each other's company outside of romance? Do you have shared interests and activities you can do together? If the answer is no, the relationship is likely to be fragile.
Open Communication: Talk openly and honestly with each other. Share your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones. Learn to listen actively and understand each other's perspectives. This involves active listening – truly hearing what the other person is saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
Respect Boundaries: Respect each other's personal space, opinions, and needs. Understand that "no" means no, and don't pressure each other into anything you're not comfortable with. This is crucial at any age, but especially during the junior high years where peer pressure and exploration of identity are so significant.
Realistic Expectations: Understand that junior high is a time of significant change and growth. Your feelings and interests will likely evolve. Don't expect the relationship to last forever, and don't put unrealistic pressure on yourselves. Accept that change is a normal part of life.
Individuality is Key: Maintain your own friendships, hobbies, and interests. Don't let the relationship consume your entire life. Having your own identity and independence is important for a healthy relationship, and for your own personal growth.
Trust and Honesty: These are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Be trustworthy and honest in your actions and words. Betrayal, whether big or small, can easily damage a relationship at this age.
Manage Conflict Constructively: Disagreements are inevitable. Learn how to communicate your disagreements respectfully and work towards finding solutions together. Avoid yelling, name-calling, or other forms of aggressive behavior.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted adults – parents, teachers, or counselors – if you're having problems. They can offer guidance and support. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Remember the "Just Friends" Option: Sometimes, a relationship just doesn't work out. That's okay. It's important to be able to gracefully end a relationship and maintain a friendship, or at least a respectful distance.
Finally, remember that junior high is a time for exploration and self-discovery. A relationship, if it happens, should be a positive addition to your life, not its defining feature. Focus on personal growth, friendships, and enjoying this stage of your life. A lasting relationship might happen eventually, but it's not the primary goal during these years.