* George: A history professor at a small, prestigious university. He is bitter, sarcastic, and prone to heavy drinking.
* Martha: George's wife. She is domineering, manipulative, and deeply unhappy.
* Nick: A young, ambitious biology professor. He is newly married and naive.
* Honey: Nick's wife. She is sweet but insecure, and struggles to cope with the chaotic reality of George and Martha's world.