Young toddlers typically demonstrate dependence on or attachment to a primary caregiver, wanting constant connection. Once toddlers approach 18 months of age, they should exhibit a developing self-awareness manifested in the ability to distinguish between “you” and “me.” Concurrently, a sense of autonomy can emerge, with toddlers expressing defiance or non-compliance in certain situations. This is a healthy development because, according to Erikson’s theory, it contributes to a toddler’s developing sense of independence and self-control. At this stage, toddlers should also begin to play with others or by themselves, and they should be able to follow simple commands, such as giving a toy to an adult when asked.
Older toddlers develop a stronger understanding of their family unit as well as themselves, understanding their role in the family and referring to themselves by name. Toddlers should be able to play alongside other children, but it is common for toddlers at this stage to have difficulty sharing toys when playing, and they will be prone to tantrums in situations of frustration, delayed gratification or disrupted daily routines as they work to master emotional control. By the time toddlers approach 3 years of age, they should demonstrate the ability to play easily with other children and express advanced emotions, such as sympathy or shame.
Being able to readily participate in group activities is an essential psychosocial milestone for young preschoolers. By the time they are 3, preschoolers should be able to share and play along with simple group games. They should also exhibit control over their environment by initiating their own activities, which Erikson argued is essential for a preschooler’s developing sense of purpose. Preschoolers might also construct an imaginary friend as they begin to indulge in fantasy thinking. New fears, such as losing a parent, might arise, along with nightmares that toddlers know are not real but are nevertheless scary. Toddlers should exhibit growing independence, prefer spending time with children of their own age rather than parents and separate easily from mom or dad when necessary. By this age, toddlers should also have mastered toilet training.
Older preschoolers are able to participate in longer group activities and cooperative play sessions and may even enjoy competitive games. With better-developed emotional control and coping skills, 5-year-old preschoolers should rarely experience temper tantrums and readily accept help from adults. They will typically demonstrate respect towards classmates and their belongings.