What parents SHOULD control:
* Safety and well-being: This is the most important aspect. Parents have a responsibility to protect their children from harm, both physically and emotionally. This includes ensuring their basic needs are met (food, shelter, healthcare), keeping them safe from danger, and fostering a healthy environment.
* Education and development: Parents play a vital role in a child's education and development. They can encourage learning, provide resources, set expectations, and guide their children towards reaching their full potential.
* Values and morals: Parents instill values and morals in their children, shaping their character and guiding their decisions. This includes teaching them right from wrong, respecting others, and developing a strong sense of empathy.
* Early life choices: When children are young, parents make most of the choices for them, like what they eat, where they go, and who they interact with. This is essential for their safety and development.
* Boundaries and discipline: Parents need to set clear boundaries and enforce consequences for breaking them. This teaches children self-control, respect for others, and understanding of how their actions affect others.
What parents SHOULD NOT control:
* Individuality and self-expression: As children grow older, they should be allowed to develop their own personality, interests, and opinions. Parents should encourage individuality and self-expression while offering guidance and support.
* Personal choices and decisions: As teenagers, young adults, and adults, individuals should be allowed to make their own choices, even if they are not the choices their parents would make. This fosters independence, responsibility, and personal growth.
* Relationships: While parents can offer advice and support, they should not control their children's relationships. This includes friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships.
* Careers and education: While parents can provide guidance and support, they should not force their children into specific career paths or educational institutions. Children should be encouraged to explore their own passions and pursue their own goals.
* Their feelings and emotions: Parents should respect their children's feelings and emotions, even if they don't understand or agree with them. They should create a safe space for their children to express themselves openly and honestly.
The delicate balance:
The line between what parents control and what they allow their children to choose is constantly shifting. It's a delicate balance that requires communication, understanding, and ongoing adaptation.
Ultimately, the goal is to raise children who are independent, responsible, and capable of making their own informed decisions. This means gradually increasing the level of autonomy and control they have over their lives as they mature.