Write out the problems you observe. Rather than write them in an accusatory fashion, write them out with a holistic view of the scenario. For example, change "You talk back to me every time I ask you to be home at a certain hour" to "We have difficulties communicating about reasonable time limits for going out."
Suggest answers for each problem. Using the example above, write "Negotiate a curfew we can agree on for weekdays and weekends."
Sit down with your teenager and go through each issue and your proposed solution one by one. After you state the issue and your solution, listen to her solution. Listen attentively for as long as it takes for her to explain her feelings in completion. Treat her as an adult and an equal, even if you disagree.
Negotiate and write down the negotiation reached. If there isn't a negotiation reached, state what you've decided as the parent. Write it out with clarity and explain why. For example, if you set a curfew of 10 p.m. on weekdays and 11 p.m. on weekends, explain that this is to ensure his success in school while allowing him to have a social life.
Explain the exact consequence for breaking each rule. Define it with measurable information, such as three days of being grounded for every 10 minutes your teen stays out past curfew.
Enforce the consequence exactly as stated each time your teen breaks a rule. Don't bend on the limits you've set, otherwise your teen won't take you seriously and will continue to break the rules.
Offer to renegotiate the rules when your teen begins to obey them consistently. This can act as a reward system that reinforces good behavior. Add 15 minutes to the current curfew after three weeks of consistently good behavior.