Make an appointment to meet with parents face-to-face to discuss the student's issues. Plan a meeting to help parents understand the depth of your caring and concern. Use the opportunity to assess the child's home environment.
Voice your concerns gently and clearly. To lessen the blow, sandwich the problem between compliments about the child's abilities or efforts. Choose neutral language; speak in a calm, personable tone. Highlight the problematic behavior, rather than condemning the individual.
Address the parents' reactions calmly. If they are angry, acknowledge their feelings and give them time to release the immediate flare-up of emotion. Truly listen to objections and comments; you may learn valuable information that causes you to reflect on the child in a new light.
Ask for suggestions and advice. Be clear that you are asking out of respect for a parent's knowledge, not out of desperation. Ask parents to describe the way they manage behavior at home.
Propose a plan that includes parental involvement. If a parent admits to having similar issues at home, suggest management strategies such as positive reinforcement, time-outs, loss of privileges or other age-appropriate methods.
Follow up with parents after the meeting. For long-term or recurring defiance issues, set up regular meetings to discuss progress and set new goals. Communicate with parents in writing to save as documentation of your efforts.