Each preschooler involved in the conflict must understand what the conflict is about. Allow each person to talk about his feelings regarding the conflict without any interruptions. The first step to solving any conflict, including those involving preschoolers, is to correctly understand the problem.
Ask the preschooler to make statements starting with the word “I,” such as “I feel sad when you call me names,” and “I want you to stop calling me names.” These are constructive sentences that allow students to express their feelings directly and personally.
Give realistic expectations to preschoolers to prevent unnecessary conflict. For example, while sharing is a virtue, give each child enough time to enjoy her toy or activity before having to give it up. Rather than giving preschoolers one minute to play with their favorite toy, a more realistic expectation might be 10 minutes.
As the teacher, talk in a quiet voice during conflict resolutions and expect the same out of the preschoolers involved. Discourage loud voices as they make people unwilling to listen. It will be more difficult for the children to remain very angry if they are talking about the conflict in soft, quiet voices.
Brainstorm possible solutions to the conflict with all the children involved. Think of as many solutions as you can as a group, writing them all down on a piece of paper. Welcome creative solutions from the group. Ensure that the final result demands respect for the children and the rules of the classroom or home.
Sometimes the best solution for preschoolers is to simply redirect their focus onto a new activity. This is an effective solution when a child is not comfortable with doing a particular activity and is complaining about it. Empathize with the troubled preschooler, telling him that you understand that he is having trouble with the current activity. Then offer an alternative activity that will divert attention to a new direction.