Mr. Henderson: Maya, mind if I take a look at your essay?
Maya: (Slightly shrinking in her seat) Um, sure.
Mr. Henderson gently took the paper, his eyes scanning the neatly written words. He paused, a thoughtful frown creasing his brow.
Mr. Henderson: This is a good start, Maya. Your introduction is strong, and your points are well-organized. But I noticed something… Your conclusion feels a little… abrupt. It doesn't quite tie everything together.
Maya: (Fidgeting with a pencil) I… I wasn't sure how to end it. I felt like I'd already said everything.
Mr. Henderson: That's a common feeling. Think of the conclusion as a chance to reiterate your main points, but with a fresh perspective. You've argued that Shakespeare's use of imagery enhances the play's emotional impact. Can you summarize that impact in a powerful, memorable sentence? Perhaps reflecting on the overall feeling the imagery evokes in the reader?
Maya: Hmm… maybe something like… "Through vivid imagery, Shakespeare crafts an emotional landscape that lingers long after the final curtain falls."?
Mr. Henderson: Excellent! That's much stronger. It leaves the reader with a lasting impression. There's another small point. While your research is clearly present, try to integrate your citations more smoothly into the text. Instead of having them stand out so much, try weaving them into your sentences.
Maya: Okay, I'll work on that. I tend to get a little… focused on getting all the information in.
Mr. Henderson: I understand. But remember, clarity and flow are just as important as thoroughness. Writing is a process, Maya. Don't be discouraged by needing revisions. It’s how we learn and improve. This is a good essay, with real potential. With a few tweaks, it'll be outstanding.
Maya: Thank you, Mr. Henderson. I appreciate your help.
Mr. Henderson: My pleasure. Let me know if you need any further assistance. And remember, don't hesitate to ask questions – that's what I'm here for. Now, get back to work, and let's make that conclusion shine!
Maya: (Smiling slightly) Yes, sir.