People who encounter stressful or traumatic events do not usually want to accept what is happening. Living in denial means formulating excuses, narratives and illusions to escape the magnitude of a traumatic event or change. As a cognitive process, it helps you to take time in processing the external events and the internal interpretations of these events. This process is largely subconscious and may take a while before you come out of it. The ease with which people come out of denial depends on their cognitive capacities, their personalities and the support mechanisms that are available to them.
This is also a defense mechanism that seeks to rid you of blame by seeking someone to blame. This phase is characterized by emotional outbursts such as crying, screaming, bitterly arguing and constantly complaining. In extreme cases, in this phase of emotional adaptation, you may cause physical harm to yourself or may renounce any previous belief systems you had, and you may also rebel against the establishment. The typical encapsulation of this stage is the "Why Me" question.
This stage of emotional adaptation and coping is similar to denial. It is a false expectation and a hope that what has happened can be reversed. You will bargain either with your adversaries who are causing you harm; negotiate with a supernatural being for mercy and pardon; or even your employer if you are facing imminent loss of employment. In a last resort to change the situation, you will offer yourself as sacrifice just to get things back to how they were.
In realizing that change, traumatic event or loss cannot be reversed, people fall into depression. Here they reluctantly accept the events and begin to construct ways of coping. There is a sense of helplessness, deep loss and sadness. It is both a behavioral and cognitive stage: behavioral in that they may become lethargic, passive and may develop personality traits that are unfamiliar; cognitive in the sense that they may hallucinate about the loss, may feel trapped in a cycle of endless thoughts mainly about their world and see no end in their suffering.
At this stage, a person gains the adaptation capacity. It may take a long time and a great deal of effort to get to this point of forming new expectations that can lead to success under the new conditions. People are able to develop a method to deal with various feelings like loss, anxiety, threat, relief, joy or optimism. They'll be able to take ownership and responsibility for getting their life back on track.