This element of the theory suggests humans are walking contradictions. We want to be close to other people, yet we push them away. We want to be happy, yet we find ways to sabotage that happiness. This principle affects our relationships because we have to preserve our sense of self while also taking into consideration the feelings of another person. We may want to act selfishly yet realize it may be hurtful. This principle also emphasizes the strain of wanting both stability and newness in our relationships, which causes tension and at times, unhappiness.
Humans are in a constant state of change, yet resist change because we crave stability but become excited about change because it can prompt newness and better opportunities. In terms of relationships, change can be helpful while at the same time destructive. If two people can grow and change together or at least accept their partner or friend's changes, then the relationship can survive and even thrive. Yet, if someone tries to stifle another person's change or is not supportive of their changes, then the relationship will likely fail.
Praxis refers to the habitual practices that occur in a relationship. In the beginning of a relationship, the mode of operation may be to spend a lot of time with the other person. As the relationship becomes more comfortable, one or both parties may want to spend less time together or revisit some previous interests. This change in practice can damage the relationship, or it can be a tool to help strengthen the relationship, allowing each person to be the truest version of themselves.
This principle of Baxter and Montgomery's Relational Dialectics suggests that everything and everyone is interconnected. Interconnectedness helps an individual both thrive yet is also greatly restricting. The expectations of being connected and how to connect can be debilitating yet can also help an individual succeed. This principle shows that contradiction, change and praxis are all part of human relationships, and these relationships cannot exist without these elements.