Here are a few approaches:
1. Focus on your own learning and growth:
* "Mom, I've been doing a lot of reading lately to understand [mention a general theme, e.g., healthy relationships, family dynamics, emotional well-being]. I came across this book that really resonated with me, and I was wondering if you might be interested in reading it too. It's about [mention a broad topic related to the book, not directly about abuse]. It's helped me a lot with [mention a specific positive outcome, e.g., understanding my own emotions, setting boundaries]." This approach avoids directly mentioning your father or abuse, focusing on your personal journey. If she shows interest, you can then subtly suggest aspects relevant to your situation.
2. Frame it as a discussion starter:
* "Mom, I've been reading a book about [mention a broad topic again, e.g., communication in relationships] and it's raised some interesting points I'd love to discuss with you. It's called [book title]. Would you be open to reading it, and then we can chat about it sometime?" This approach presents the book as a neutral starting point for conversation, rather than an accusation.
3. Choose the right time and place:
* Find a time when you're both relaxed and have ample time to talk without distractions. A quiet setting where you can have an uninterrupted conversation is crucial.
4. Be prepared to listen and empathize:
* Your mother may have her own reasons for defending your father. Listen to her perspective without interrupting, even if you disagree. Validate her feelings, even if you don't agree with her conclusions. For example, "I understand why you might feel that way," or "I can see how you'd interpret things that way."
5. Manage expectations:
* She might not read the book, or she might read it and not agree with your interpretation. Be prepared for that outcome. The goal is to open a dialogue, not necessarily to change her mind immediately.
Important Considerations:
* Your safety: If you feel unsafe discussing this with your mother, do not proceed. Prioritize your safety and well-being. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate this complex family dynamic.
* Your mother's personality: Tailor your approach to your mother's personality and your relationship dynamic.
* Your own emotional well-being: This conversation might be emotionally challenging. Have a support system in place before you initiate it.
Remember, you cannot force your mother to see things your way. Focus on expressing your own needs and feelings respectfully, and be prepared for various responses. Your priority is your own emotional well-being.